Door To Nirvana

Imagine the feeling of witnessing a world full of changes. Buildings grow 2 to 3 times their ordinary size, roads filled with more cars, steps getting longer and further and yet you’re here witnessing this without a change in yourself.

How is it like to see a friend today becoming your enemy in a blink of an eye? Or the strong bond between your pet die by the next day of an unpredicted soulgrimmer? Far worse ourcomes would be at hand yet not a change in ourself as we see through the reflection. It’s painful yet…how much have I grown strong from all this?

Dreams will remain as dreams but…what if they posses messages? Can I brush them as de-javu’s? The beckoning call of the wind, can you hear the voices that differs hallucination? We reside earth for so long yet alienated from it’s own habitant.

The cries and suffer. We claim to posses all knowlegde yet failed to understand ourselves. As if we search only for the Philosopher Stone through the aims of greed. We become blind day by day while not realizing it.

How much change has gone as I remain the same? Idealistic by heart I yearn to not lost this yet afraid humanity will be my downfall. What should I do as I remain the same as ever? Closing my eyes and envisioning these reflections, a hand by my heart I grip the determination that lay lying around.

THREE PATHS LAY INFRONT OF ME

Zoologist, Teacher, Architect

Yet these unconvey dreams continue to hunt me…devil dark nightmares or the angel light of dreams? How many times must all this repeated until the infinite cycle comes to an end?

I bet you never heard of Tales of Genji by Lady Murasaki before. As poety and complicated the language describes, it’s truly a literature of art to be respected. The floral and gentle illustrations through verbal understanding, the destiny of the nobilties during the Heian Era, the procedures of polygamy and of course the setting of the background story running off like a forbidden romance.

The unique trait about it is not the Japanese theme but how the people accepted or inspire polygamy especially Prince Hikaru Genji. His wife, Lady Murasaki the niece of Lady Fujitsubo was the narrator here. She tells his tale of Lady Fujitsubo and various others.

Hikaru Genji may seem like a modern day Casanova but it’s normal practice for woman during that era to fall into a man’s domination. There’s no gender equality for short. Genji did many things we call men as ruthless these days. o.O Who wouldn’t!? Examples are…

Having mutiple intimate relationships with woman. Taking in Murasaki when she was 10, educating her and then marrying her. Entering a woman’s house by force and raping her, in return, quoted "I can go anywhere and do anything". Having a secret affair with Lady Fujitsubo and making pregnant into giving birth to a child thought to be the legal son of the emperor.

=.= As much as I’m enjoying reading ancient literature, I’m still trying to figure out the plot of another storyline I’m working on. Day by day the plot expands but I need the basic rule and a conclusion. =.= Mostly I stare at outside the clouds hoping something will form up there.

Which is when I came to notice how the hell did they ever know the speed of light. It is said to be super fast so that means that there’s a faster device to record speed right?! =.= And the wind…air resistance and manipulation of heat. Umm…maybe I should just go back to writting .____.|||

I tend to dream a lot like once wanted to be a spy but got no moves on that. Or being able to govern the world through world Domination but lacking in politics is better off knowing too much.

So I stayed focus to the little things in life like being able to save homeless animals even if I can’t be a vetenarian. Phobia issue. It gives a sense of pride and wonderful feeling that you’re able to nurse them to health and take care of them although there was a lot of jealousy going on in the house.

Besides that, ever since my brother did his study on computers I became much more interested in the sense of software. An introduction to anime and manga gave a boost to what I always like to do. Some people might find it pretty silly but to me, each stroke they made on these animated or static graphics are worth all my time.

I always wanted to take up drawing but I’m terrible at it. My father was quite a talented born painter. With his hands he was able to produce a living picture be it a colourful shinning koi fish or a thundering water fall.

I trained as much as I can but I wasn’t able to archieve the beauty he was able to put in. Upon asking, he always says follow your heart and stay calm through it. I tried to relax myself one day and I was able to picture a scene which I wanted to draw. Using my left hand, I guided it to form a picture of a girl who’ve once appeared in my dream.

Out it came her…a picture that I thought I lack the skill to produce. It then made me realized how much I enjoy these things. To edit music and have fun. To change subtitles, to animate the most simplest objects using your imagination. To draw out your dreams. Which leads me to a field I’ve always had fun and enjoyed, Engineering. Every week there’s always two days I look forward to. These two days, we would spend drawing and drawing and drawing out mechanicals pieces, buildings, simple object in many perspective.

Ambition: An architect, animation [Malaysia has potential but they still need to open up], Sound Engineering XD

Tell me why am I posting here again?

An examination should always be a pain in the neck, an extra load on the stress and of course a life-saver from homeworks.

Yep, I’m perfectly happy with my life revolving around non-sense written-papers full of stupid question that waste probably 25% of a lifetime supply forest. Right now, I’m actually looking forward to it especially the Physics crap.

…Right…

I could have sworn my teacher was chanting some kind of mantra for me to pass his exam and exceed his expectations. So I’m an exam-freak…big deal. It’s not like I’m going to walk of the hall bearing the sign "WARNING WIMPS: I’M AN EXAM FREAK AND A TOP SCORER" at least without the sign part. >_> Which adds to nothing happening in reality from my POV. Oh well…

To be truthful, I don’t feel what my friends would call the "STRESS" or the "PRESSURE". Well I sure can’t see what’s so stressful about a 3 weeks homework-free. An exam will remain an exam. I prefer silence during exam. I prefer writting on wasteful papers on the sopt rather than keeping it at home for who-knows-when-I’ll-finally-touch-those assignment.

And speaking of 3 weeks hell, the examination week should not be my main worry priority. My 3 weeks hell only happen after my exam.

…Exactly…during the holidays.

The three weeks of no summer vacation, the days where I planned off staying at home in front of the internet non-stop leeching of some Ouran signifcant other, typing my blogs and doing my supposely reviews. But life has it’s way of getting back to me… >_> Aaa…I hate these crap.

Well I should look on the bright side. Maybe one of these days I’ll turn my recently made new blog into a novelist written editorial. And the title would surely be "I Am A Distress High School Girl Revolving Around Living Hell" with an avatar of Suoh Tamaki to go along with it.

Hmmm…maybe it’s time I join Hishamhudin in the campaign of minimizing the amount of subjects being taught in school…namely EST. It’s taking most of my afternoon time.

Sigh, I’m off to take my afternoon nap. I don’t want to sleep during my Malay language test. I’m sure the teacher would be eyeing me all the time if I dare do that. Damn…I wish reality have a way of making miscevious plans come true. I was sooo sure I could put some sleeping drug into the teacher’s drink. >:] Which would result into forensic investigation and off straight to being thrown out of school or in reality, being bugged around by a very very annoying discipline teacher until someone admits their faults. A girl still can have her imaginations.

~Yan-Yan out

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                 |      .     <—- "Oppss…"

I just came back from Secret Recipe after an exhauting day peer teaching in school ><. Sigh, it’s just the best way to spend on a Saturday afternoon eating Vanila Whipped Cream sundae in Secret Recipe!

Hmm…is there anything special I want to mention today? Well, I observe a few boys and girls walking around the complex and some older men talking "buisness" non-sense that I don’t really get why they need to mention them to their friends, since it’s not like they’re there to talk about work. Oh, there’s a new game for Initial D but I think my brother would only be satisfied by Simulation Games.

Anyhow, more reports on Pink PinkClub. There’s a fashion show and all AJK-s have to participate.

"…"

A FASHION SHOW!? FOR BUDDHA’S SAKE! A FREAKING FASHION SHOW AND AJK-S HAVE TO BE IN IT!? >_> I’ll survive. Everyone have to do Dance Dance Revolution. >_> Okay…that’s exagerating.

More NEWS!

I’m finally going to wear a vest. Yay. I’m going to suffocate due to the heat. >_> Have I ever mention how regretful am I to join the Pink PinkGirl Club? No? I just did >_>. Anyway, I’m going to enjoy my last week of School Uniform.

Ouran High School Host Club 2 subbed is out by Lunar Anime. I’m going to download that version for my cousin. Ciao~!

~Yan-Yan out

Everything is over. All is over. Finally~! I’m free from test, irritating charts, and downright annoying comics! In the mist of joy I celebrate like a freak, dance like a freak and even THINK like a freak.

And suddenly I receive a heavy burden of being Hall Manager for the upcoming Pink-PinkClub-Retarded-Girls-Dancing-in-Pink-Tutus-Trying-to-Impress-some-Jackass-from-Another-School Gathering Ceremony. >_> Crud… So it wasn’t THAT bad. At least I get to bully some juniors >:] but I’ll play the Happy-Go-Lucky Goody Good Senior.

So right now, I’m officially a ICT Pink Prefect. But that’s not the main point, right now. Three days ago, I was suppose to post out my review on a new shoujo anime series known as "Ouran High School Host Club" and guess what happen…

A short-circuit? Hah, I wish!

I press the "Tab" key and then the "Backwards/Erase" key by accident and look what happen to my hardwork after I was one sentence away from posting! -_-’

I won’t be posting that review for a while so you’ll just have to wait for them bishounen to appear XD. I’m really depress right now, over a fight I had last night with my maid. But I’m really not totally depress. I’m actually suppose to some research for an essay this month before editting again. >_> Life’s a Leisure.

Anyway, I’ll be waiting for today’s RAW release of Ouran High School Host Club Episode 2. I think the title gave away that there’ll be lots lots of bishounen(1) and maybe slight yaoi(2). Overall they drew these characters well and adorable especially Honey-kun, loli-shota(3). Hmm…maybe I’ll reveal on a little detail of Honey-kun icon. He’s so adowable :3.

Currently, I’m very interested in a few animes. Namely, Ouran High School Host Club (Bones Studio), Kanon (Key Visual Arts), Rozen Maiden Traumend, and XXXHolic. Maybe sometime in the future I might review it.

P.S: I notice that my previous post was really terrible. Mistake are frequently made. I apologize but please bear with me. I’m not the type to spend my time reading my post again to correct mistakes.

(Not mine and that’s all I’m revealing! Honey~!)

1) Bishounen: Handsome Boy.

2)Yaoi: Light romance between two boys. Yesh! It’s boyxboy. Don freak out. >_>

3) loli-shota: A fetish towards young boys age 0 to 17 years old or male pedophillea? Originally loli implies lolita, a complex towards young female at the range between 0 - 17 years old with adult appearance in cute forms. Imagine a 17 year-old anime female character with an adult chest and appearance of a 10 year-old girl. You get the point.

-Yan Yan out

It’s been a while since I’ve actually type out something interesting in my life on this blog. No, this is not the only blog ignore. Other were too. -_-’ Some how I was pretty busy with editting job and assignments. Sigh…

There’s still the House Model. After snaping various photos from Kuala Lumpur to Pahang, around my neighbourhood and searching for the best model, even going through series of models layout in complexes (My cellphone’s memory left till 236kb only and the baterry for my digital camera nearly ran out -_-) I’ve now yet to decide the perfect model. Back to the drawing board…

Oh and then there’s the assignment our Physics teacher told us about. We were suppose to build a rocket out of plastic bottles and a parachute. So it’s hard? No the least, unless you add up the momentum and velocity into your calculation! >< Oh god, there will be lots lots of calculation written on my mini notepad. Escpecially, when it involves speed, mass, wind, material and water. Again to the drawing board…

Recently there’s ongoing activities in our school. Really really annoying! I need to build a plant cell chart (I’m not in Biology so that’s the hard part) out of the interent resources. I’m off to draw the diagram right now and we’ll just have to complete these works by tomorrow.

Oh did I mention all the girls have to draw a comic? God! A COMIC! Oh the peer pressure! I can’t believe this! And tomorrow is the due date! A bloody 15 page of comic drawn out exactly reference from the Literature Text Book! Oh all the things why don’t they give us at least 1 month or 2 weeks? I’m not a pro in sketching things! Why 2 bloody days only!? Oh did I mention that we need to do this in a group and I was busy for the first day dividing the works while juggling with the activities!? Damn >_> What more do they have in line for us? Crud…

Aa…and my most favourite thing to do… a test. Not your ordinary read a book and answer test! That’s simple! It’s the annual test to pass apprenticehood and into a full comanding pink-coloured ICT Prefect! >_> I don’t know what to study though so it’s up to my luck. And for God sake it’s tomorrow, the exact same day I have to build a Plant Cell Chart and finish up the comic >_> Crud, my life is soo great. Best of all it’s not a last minute work at all, so sirry!

…

Which reminds me, that I have a Moral essay report to hand in next week. Which brings me to another correction paper on Physics exam due next week >_> Double crud. Now if only I knew that a correction will pop-up, I wouldn’t have study all the facts for the whole day I was awake instead of busy editting. >_>

Random SHOUT OUT: I got both A1 in my English and EST ^^. Yay for me! I hope to pass the exam by studying and effort next time and not rely on luck again like this time.

~Yan-Yan out

I did a little on net surfing and I’ve actually discovered this two days ago.

http://www.jdorama.com/viewtopic.8647.htm

To make things more interesting, Matsumoto Jun will play as the main lead character known as Yori, the incestous twin brother of Iku who is madly inlove with her. As the title translate "I Love My Little Sister"

http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Matsumoto_Jun

Although I’m not a big fan of incest (let alone twin incest >_>) and the contents might be pretty disturbing but I’m looking forward to Matsumoto-san’s acting skills. The last time I seen him in action was "Kimi Wa Petto" or known as "You’re My Pet". It’s also another disturbing content about a woman who treated a boy as her pet. Okay…

Moving on, I can’t believe that I’m actually looking forward to it. Oh well. It last seen since 2002 that Boku Wa Imouto Ni Koi Wa Suru has receive numerous approval and high rating despite the explicit icing. Even famous enough to be animated in an OVA. Right now, the movie is under great progress and hopefully the project will be a great success. Kanbate ne!

Well here are a few samples for you to view. It’s not totally that explicit and bad content. It’s just how the way you handle it. If you read it, you’ll actually find twin incest something you don’t see everyday.

Disclaimer: I do not own the following pictures. These works belong to dearest Aoki Kotomi the mangaka of this shoujo manga and Shoujo Magic, a group of scanlation who scanlated the following pictures. This is just for viewers to have a little laugh at not for TEASERS or SELLING otherwise ANY SORT OF MERCHANDISE! (Warning: Light Humor Ahead)

I hope more Shoujo Manga(s) will also receive the same luck as Boku Wa Imouto Ni Koi Wa Suru and publish itself in the media in an animated version so that more people can experience the  sweet and bitterness of the story.

~Yan-Yan out

Nihahaha… I’ve finally able to upload my class picture from our previous volunteer work! Thanks to Jay’X for the class picture and Serena for being such a good sport and provide us these.

4 Bestari: The Girls of SMP enjoying their last moment of volunteer work and reunion. Seeing as Sarah, Afneda and Ain Nor Farhana are about to disappear from our lifes; we the Bestari Girls wish them a farewell and wonderful friendship.

Go Girls: Smile at the camera pretty ladies because this is a lifetime debut album that will shock the school!

Painter’s Job: Happily grinning to herself, our classmates are having a hard time carrying out their given tasks but with a smile on their faces; they are having a thrilling time <s> escaping from their History exam </s>

The UMNO of 4 Bestari: "We are no ordinary girls for display; we are a group of dedicated Islamics with high ambitions!"

-Yan-Yan out